Often when things go wrong, there are many people who try to diminish their own mistakes by bringing out the mistakes that other have made. With that attitude they think they are suffering unfairly and because of such improper behavior, they get upset. So, when you talk about someone, you have to consider his conditions and situation no matter what you say. Also, when you listen to what others say, you must listen and have the wisdom to discern with goodness as seen in the sight of God so that "you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ" (Philippians 1:10).